First, let me say that I'm not perfect. I'm so far from perfect that it would take a million light years of any kind of perfectness to reach me! I'm just a happily married mom of 2 wonderful teenage boys who are the lights of my life. I don't know what I have done to deserve these fine young Christian men, but I'm eternally thankful for them and I'm truly blessed to have them in my life.
I'm a PK (preacher's kid). It was trial and error for me growing up and going to school. Everyone thought I should be this perfect little angel. Boy! Were they ever mistaken!! I did everything I could to prove I was not an angel. I began smoking at the age of 15 and then began experimenting with drugs at 18. Only until a month ago did I actually quit smoking marijuana. I know, I know! I'm 41 years-old and still was acting like I was 18. I thought I couldn't live without it. I've been physically ill for many years and I thought that pot was the only thing that could make me feel better. Guess what? You got it! I was WRONG!!!!!! Marijuana doesn't make you feel better. It just masks the underlying problems that are really the issue.
My husband and I got together in the summer of '88. Marijuana was something that we enjoyed and we smoked it regularly. We had known each other since high school and one day, I will never forget, while we were talking he just leaned over and kissed me. I had never felt a spark like that before and I was in love instantly. We've been together ever since. My whole issue with it was that I was afraid that since we had smoked pot for so long that he would sober up and realize he didn't love me. How stupid is that?!? He had been wanting to quit for some time but I was so resistant because of my insecurity and fear of losing him. I should have given him a lot more credit but I couldn't see past my addiction. If it were not for my boys praying and my attempted suicide in February I would never have realized how much it was ruining my life. God had to get my attention and He did in the only way God does, by loving me and showing me how important I am to my family.
I know many people out there are facing addictions and I am here to tell you that YOU CAN overcome them! I promise you can! God can and will take those addictions away from you. All you have to do is ask! I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. God promises us and God keeps His promises.
I know there are many who think that God is just a myth. You know what? I thought that too for some time. Even being raised as a PK I grew away from God for some time after I started using drugs. I didn't just smoke pot at that time. I dropped acid and thought that I could find enlightenment and did other drugs because I "knew" that if God was real He would punish me. I never got that punishment so I thought God was something that people made up to make themselves feel better. How dumb is that?!? God love us so much He gave us free will to learn from our mistakes. He doesn't punish us, He loves us and wants us to come to Him so He can show us how much we are loved. He delights in making us happy and helping us overcome those things in our lives which are holding us back from being the best person we can be. All we have to do is ask! Jesus wants you to come to Him and lay all those things at the cross. He died for our sins so we can have a fulfilling life here on earth and so we can rejoice with Him when we make our journey to our real home with Him. Nothing is to big for God to handle. Trust me, I know from experience. God is still working miracles in my life and He wants more than anything to do that for you too. God delights in our happiness. He's not a God that delights in our pain and suffering. We bring those things upon ourselves.
If you are reading this and want a personal relationship with Him just ask Him. Pray for Jesus to come into your life and make you whole. I knew that something was missing in my life and when I finally opened my heart and eyes, Jesus was waiting there patiently to love me and save me from myself and give me a new sense of direction. We all need that. We all need to know that there's something better out there for us and I have found that Jesus is the answer. Even being a PK, it took me 20 years to figure that out. The only regret that I have is that I didn't realize it sooner. Those years of wandering could have been years of fulfillment that I now have.
If you want a personal relationship with Christ and want to know more, just message me. I'm here for anyone who needs a friend to help them on a journey to a new and better life. God bless you!
“Whatever gains I had, these I have come to consider a loss because of Christ. More than that, I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having any righteousness of my own based on the law but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God, depending on faith to know him and the power of his resurrection and (the) sharing of his sufferings by being conformed to his death.”
Your sister in Jesus Christ,